Sunday, May 2nd, 2010 7:00 p.m.
Tonight as I sit in our new uphill office, listening to the musical tinkling of my wind chime, blown by the Caribbean breeze, I am reflecting upon the events and emotions this past month has generated. Never before have I been so challenged and stretched, so forced to rely wholly on my God. Only in the last few weeks have I truly learned what it means to trust in God as my Shield, my Rock, my Comfort, and my Hope.
One aspect of being a missionary, one that I had not counted on encountering, has been made altogether clear to me since my friend headed back to the States. Loneliness. This struggle is something many people who are not on the field do not fully comprehend. Being away from family and friends, often without the equipment the rest of the world has for instant communication, or at least with very limited technology, and faced with the constant spiritual and physical battles of serving in another, often destitute, culture, often brings waves of this emotion. Missionaries are not superheroes, as is a common misconception, and they feel normal emotions such as sadness, joy, discouragement, and hope just like everyone else does.
But even though I have had quite a battle with this feeling, God has been faithful. Without Him I would never make it. And He reminds me of that fact daily. Because of the absence of the companionship I have been, really, so spoiled with, I have been required to lean on Him completely, to allow Him to be, not only my Father and Savior and Lover, but also my Friend and Comforter. Though at times circumstances seem hopeless and all strength is gone, God is here, holding my hand and leading me through. Without that knowledge I would be lost. This I know, all too well.
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father.
There is no shadow of turning with Thee.
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not.
As Thou has been Thou forever wilt be.
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning, new mercies I see.
All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.
