My First Week Back in Haiti...

Friday, January 29, 2010 8:00 p.m.

It was still dark when my eyes opened, awakened by the sound of beautiful Haitian voices unashamedly praising their Lord. I rolled over, too weary to get up yet, and tried to ignore the dampness of my sheets and pillow while listening to the enchanting melody. When light began to touch the sky I sat up in bed, my head almost touching the tarp hanging above us, and my eyes took in the sights that the blackness of the previous night had prevented me from viewing completely.

A large portion of our dusty yard was covered with blankets, sheets, carpets, and a few cots. Over a hundred people had slept here, and now they were rolling up their bedding and preparing to start their day. The air was heavy with dew, and cold – for Haiti – and everyone was moving slowly. I gathered my things, managed to procure the keys so I could find some toilet paper, and headed to the door-less outhouses. Roosters were crowing, turkeys and chickens pecking for food on the ground, dogs barking every time a stranger entered the gate, and Jhemson was leading our eight goats from their pen to the yard. I felt like I was in the middle of a movie.

That first day back was very eye-opening for me. I tried not to act as overwhelmed as I felt, but I was quickly coming to realize how truly sheltered my last three months at the beach had been. I was now seeing Haiti as it really was, because I was living as the rest of the people do. As always, it was the children that captured my heart. Precious little seven year old Melissa, whose mother left her to the care of Dee and Wickly (we don’t even know who her father is); Marc and Monique’s daughter Alexandra, the little princess; Ladiminka, the newest addition to the Dorces’ family, from the Dominican Republic; and Dadu, an adorable, quiet, little guy, whose pouty face is rarely without a smile. Little glimpses I’ve caught of the reality of their everyday lives have already broken my heart, and I am overflowing with a desire to show them every bit of attention and affection that I can while I am here.

My heart was beset by these emotions, and my mind was instantly overwhelmed as I observed how much work needed to be done. After a very long week of almost no connection with the outside world, finances dwindling, and people coming to them in droves for help, Dee and Wilckly were doing all they could just to house and feed those under their care. We need a bulldozer to prepare land for building temporary dwellings for all those needing shelter, we need food, food, and more food, we need storage containers in which to put all of the food, we need money, since the only places to receive transfers right now not only have lines a mile long, but really aren’t safe, either. The last week has been spent assessing these situations, making our plans of action, and waiting. Lots of waiting. This was not new to me, as I was first introduced to Haiti with its motto: “Hurry up and wait.” It has been no different this time, even in the wake of such a tremendous disaster.

It is actually very difficult to make these people out in the country realize how devastated their country is. Other than their fear of sleeping indoors, to them, life should go on as normal. And they try to make it so. But even though on the outside everything may seem to have gone back to the usual routine, everyone knows, deep down, that it hasn’t. Everyone walks around in a kind of daze, as if still unbelieving, in denial.

However, we are refusing to be discouraged. Even though every day seems to bring more closed doors and obstacles, there are always enough reasons to hope and keep smiling. God is going to use this horrible event for good, and we cling to that promise.

Hope in the midst of devestation...

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 9:35p.m.

Yesterday we went to Port-au-Prince. We had to weave our way through back roads, around rubble, and over cracks and dips in the roads just to get to the airport. Though I had seen the devastation on TV, it was as though my eyes were new to the sights. House after house, building after building, walls, roads…collapsed, broken, lying in pieces. And it seemed so random: many a house untouched stood adjacent to another that had been flattened. I didn’t even want to think how many people had been inside – how many could still be under there.

We stopped at two tent camps to talk with people and take pictures. At one, the oh-so-intelligent Americans had decided to drive into the center of it, with an open truck full of food. They had no idea what they were getting themselves into. Of course, there were about twenty soldiers standing around the truck with guns, so they were managing to keep some kind of order. The other camp, which was farther from the airport, had received no aid that we knew of. Every single person in it had lost at least one child in the quake. They were hungry, thirsty, tired, and discouraged. We saw many of these refugee camps; the people had not seen one relief worker and were left to scrounge for their own food and water and construct their own makeshift tents with a few sticks, some ratty blankets and thin sheets.

It made me sick to my stomach when after we drove through these desolate areas we pulled into the airport and saw boxes piled ten feet high, fields and containers full of food, just sitting there. People come to help for a few days, stacking and unloading boxes of supplies, probably most never venture inside the city, then leave again, after giving themselves a little pat on the back, saying, “Look what I did for poor little Haiti.”

Perhaps I sound bitter…no, I am not bitter, only sorely disappointed. Everyone seems to think that this country, which was the poorest country in the western hemisphere even before the earthquake, and that had a broken and corrupt government already, will pick itself up within weeks. This is not only extremely optimistic, it is unrealistic. It will be years, decades, before Haiti will be on its feet, not again, but for the first time.

However, in the midst of this discouraging situation, there is hope. This is an opportunity for Haiti to change for the better, now that the rest of the world has finally noticed her. I only pray that the rest of the world will not fumble its chance to help.

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

Dear Friends,

I am doing my best to cover all the bases so that everyone who is receiving any of my updates will know what is going on. By now most of the world knows of the disaster that occurred in Haiti just a day and a half ago. I was scheduled to fly back down there the day after the earthquake hit. I am still here in the States, with a re-scheduled flight for Thursday, January 31st, and we are doing our best here to gather the much needed supplies and funds to bring back with us.

A note of praise: we finally heard from the Dorces and they are all safe. They were actually about two hours north of Carries (which is 50 mi. from Port-au-Prince) when it happened, and though they felt it, they, and everyone back at the beach in Carries were safe. They have had floods of wounded, homeless people coming to them for aid, and they are quickly running out of the small amount of supplies they did have. Please pray, and keep on praying, that they will have the energy, wisdom, and resources to help wherever they can. They are desperately in need of help and supplies, and right now the best we can do for them is to pray and gather these supplies. God is sovereign, and they are in His hands. He has placed them there for such a time as this, and He has put Crash and I here in the States to make it possible for supplies and funds to get to them. Praise Him for His all-perfect ways and timing!

I will not be updating my Blog as often as Facebook and e-mail, so if you would like to hear the more frequent updates, please send me an e-mail at smarie87@gmail.com.