Chosen

     Tuesday, August 12th, 2014

      Remember when you were a kid, standing in a line, back to the wall, as you waited for one of the team captains to pick you?  Dodgeball, tag, capture the flag; no matter the game, that wait was always the worst part.  Nervous sweat running down your face, hands clammy, stomach churning in turmoil.  Names being called, kids leaving the line on both sides...would you be picked?  Would you be the last one standing there?  Did anyone even want you on their team?  Your breaths came faster as you started to panic.  Then finally, you heard your name.  Relief flooded over you, nearly weakening your legs to incapacitation.  Somebody wanted you.  You had been chosen.

       Though I was always one of those whose turn to be picked varied (sometimes I was first, sometimes I was last), I know that feeling well.  That feeling of relief, joy, and pride that washes over you when you know someone wants you after all.  Someone thinks you are worth choosing.  It is also the feeling I get when I read the following passage:

"'You are my witnesses,' declares the Lord, 'and my servant

whom I have chosen, so that you may know and

believe Me and understand that I am He.'"

Isaiah 43:10

 

        This isn't just talking about a game of tag.  This is the God of the universe speaking, and He has chosen me to be on His team.  Lil' ol' me.  Just as the knowledge that I am blessed humbles me, this truth uplifts me and gives my life meaning.  If I ever again wonder what I'm doing here and why in the world God ever chose me, the answer is right there.  He chose me so that I may know and believe Him.  So that I may understand who He is.  If I am working toward that goal, as His chosen one, nothing else matters.  He has chosen me.  I will choose Him.

 

"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; You hold my lot."

Psalm 16:5

 

 

 

*If this is your first time reading my blog, you may wonder what in the world this entry has to do with Haiti.  Though I am currently in the U.S.A., planning to go back to Haiti soon, I have felt God leading me to share some of the things He has been teaching me in the last few months.  Most of them might not necessarily have a "Haiti focus" but they are truths that God has used in my life to better equip me for serving in Haiti and wherever else He will call me.  Please read my entry titled "I Am Who God Says I Am" for further explanation.  If you want to read about my adventures in Haiti, please enjoy reading my older entries (beginning in 2009).

Blessed

Friday, August 1, 2014

 

 

"I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me."      Psalm 13:6

 

 

     A while back I read this verse, and it became more of a challenge for me than a praise.  In fact, my immediate response shocked me.  My first inward reaction to the truth in this verse was "Yes, I guess He has, especially compared to 'so and so.'"  "Yes, I guess I am blessed, since this didn't happen to me, like it did to 'so and so.'" 

   

     When I realized where my thought pattern was leading me I forced myself to come to an abrupt halt.  What in the world was I doing?  And was this always my response to the truth that God has blessed me?  The deeper I dug I saw that, unfortunately, this was my typical response.

    

      Why?  Why do I have to compare myself with others to feel truly blessed?  Why don't I feel like He has dealt bountifully with me unless I mull over the trials others are going through?  What it all comes down to, really, is that I have an extremely inadequate understanding of God's grace.  I always have.

 

       Since I was little grace was defined to me as "God giving us what we do not deserve."  What do we deserve, anyway?  Death.  Separation from Him for all eternity.  Sounds a little harsh, huh?  Overwhelming?  Yeah, I thought so, too...probably because it is, for our human minds.  So I always chose not to give it too much thought, 'cause, well, it didn't apply to me, anyway.  I was one of His.  I didn't have to worry about all that stuff that could have happened to me.  I was safe.

 

       That's where I went wrong.  By choosing not to think about where I'd been, where I'd come from, what I did deserve, I'd become calloused to His gifts, undervaluing His blessings.  I didn't recognize His blessings because I didn't understand His grace.  I thought I had to compare myself to others in order to feel blessed.  But God doesn't tell me to "feel" blessed.  He says I am blessed.

 

        So I sat down and began compiling a list of my blessings.  Something I should have gotten around to doing long before now.  It's a long list, and still growing.  I think of more every day.  But you know what?  Even if my list wasn't long, even if it wasn't even a list...even if it only had this one thing: Jesus died for me...as my pastor always used to say: that would be reason enough to praise Him for all eternity.

 

Jesus paid it all

All to Him I owe

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow

 

        That is grace.  I am blessed.